On waiting

Yesterday when I arrived at the doctor's office I found the waiting room jammed full so I prepared myself for a long wait. Of course there are magazines. Of course I have my iPhone and there is always something interesting happening on Facebook. I didn't touch a magazine and yes, I did open Facebook, for a little while, until I began to reflect on the meaning, challenge and beauty of waiting. I updated by status: Waiting is a significant activity in life and to benefit from the "empty" time of waiting is a gift." A put my iPhone away and began to be still, sensing the calm and not so empty air of waiting. Sure, I was not the only one waiting and at least one other person was sitting still, unoccupied and unbothered nor bored. I felt like seizing the moment, the luxury of waiting. I remembered a colleague who worked in Africa for years describing the reality of waiting for the bus, which countless people do every day, for long stretches and without complaining. I remember he said after a long time he began to overcome the nervousness about the time wasted and discovered the beauty and calmness of waiting. I also recalled people I know talking about the endless hours or days of waiting in the army. Today I think waiting there had a dimension of drill. Creating sufficient dullness so people are ready to do whatever destruction of killing is demanded of them.

The best part, in spite of my having a time constraint that afternoon (and it worked all out perfectly fine), was the sense of having no rush, no stress, no pending thing, no impatience whatsoever. An hour really and completely free of any of that stuff. It felt like a blessing of quietness, stillness with nothing to perform or to proof, not even the activity of impatience.

I think there are essentially three ways to wait: A common way is to let the nerves be stretched; is perhaps the most common way, especially in situations where waiting is not expected. Another way is to keep yourself busy with all kinds of useful, necessary or useless occupations, physical or mental. The third, less common but most beneficial way if you ask me, is to empty your mind, quiet your body and be still. In our day and context this seems to have become a rare gift for most and I'm really worried here that its frequency increases for me.

Oh yes, the other thing I did with my iPhone was to check out my new decibel application. I discovered that the average noise level at the waiting room was around 60. That's far from still but it did not bother me. I recalled my professor at the conservatory who told us about how he studied the scores of the Christmas Oratorio in the trenches of WWII, and he heard the music all over and above the noise of shells, aircraft and shouting around him.

Finally, we have managed to turn even those times of intentional waiting into performances and activities with outcomes: prayer and worship. But let's not go there right now. Let's wait a little.